we have pet lesbian snakes
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
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