My room smells like vodka and shame
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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