So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
