All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize