i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
