i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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