Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
