he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
