You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
