haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize