next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
please come you make the beer taste better
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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