We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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