i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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