you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
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