I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
