I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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