On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
