There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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