thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
