allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
