Sponge bath it is.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
