Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
