he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize