yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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