Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
this hospital has no fireball
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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