she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
