You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He did a backflip because drugs
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