he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
