One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
