i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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