you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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