pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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