after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
