NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
