Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
