They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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