Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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