Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
we're making bets on your personal life
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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