he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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