Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
