if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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