Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
