i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I feel great
I just peed on a car
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So vagazzling was a success
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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