i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
