Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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