Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
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smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
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Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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