I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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