so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
