i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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