i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize