Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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