i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
