At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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