he puts the penis in happiness.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize