Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
