I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Randomize
