I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
