he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
