Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
