So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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