You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
now i know why i became what i already was.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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