Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
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I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
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Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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