For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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