so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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