i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
