My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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