Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
