Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
