you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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