I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
