One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
